Newton Curse
by officerobivous
Summary: Belsy goes to school after being a vampire. Newton's grandson has a crazy crush on her. Fic is people's choice. Better then it sounds. Please R&R.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Oh, Shit!

BPOV:

I was totally kicking Emmett's ass in "Black Ops", while the rest of the family was lounging around house going about their usual activities.

"Pwned." I said.

"No far! Rematch!" Emmett yelled.

"Why? You wanna loose again?" I said.

"NO!" He declared. Before we could restart the game, Carlisle called the family to go to the dinning room. Why do we even have a dinning room?

"Race you there Em?" I asked.

"You're so on lil sis!"

"Count of three?"

"One…two…"

"THREE!" Emmett yelled and took off.

"HEY!" I called after him, running at top speed to catch up to him. I made it three seconds before Emmett.

"Beat you again."

"Only 'cause I was going easy on you squirt." Emmett said trying to hide his grumpiness at losing to me for the 50th time today.

Once everyone had entered the room, we all sat down.

"Okay kids I have some news. You're all going back to school!" Carlisle stated happily…wait he's happy…does he want to get rid of us?

"What?" I exclaimed. I was just starting to get to spend time with Edward and the rest of the family. It wasn't fair.

"Why do we have to go to school?" Rosalie asked.

"Well, we all know why _you_ need to go Rosalie. You need to get a brain." Alice said, still mad from the fight they had gotten into a few days ago. Rose just glared at her.

"No Alice, it is because we need to keep up the appearance of a normal family. As normal as we _can_ seem anyways." Carlisle said.

"Can't we pretend to be home schooled?" I asked.

"No because that's not very common and we have to be normal. Understand?"

"I guess…" I mumbled and Edward gave me a half hug. Alice looked confused.

"What don't you get?" Carlisle asked.

"Nothing daddy, I understand."

"Really Alice you understand?"

"Yes, I understand that Rosalie needs a brain."

"Okay Alice. We get it; you think Rose needs a brain." Esme said.

"Yes I Do." Alice said trilled. Rose is going to kill her…again. I can't wait to see what type of revenge Rosalie has planed.

"Does anyone else have any other comments about Rosalie needing a brian?" Esme asked. Rose looked shocked and mouthed the word 'what' before her mouth dropped open.

"Oh come on! You all know you agree with me." Alice stated. Here come the treats.

"Bella, say she needs a brain and I won't play Bella Barbie for two years." Ali said. This is a dream come true!

"Bella, side with me and I'll get you a puppy, and make sure she doesn't play Bella Barbie for a century." A century and puppy! AHH!

"She doesn't know what a century is. And I just might know when that knew club in Vegas opens."

I'm so excited. I'd wanted to go to that club since I heard it was going to open.

"I know what a century is. And I know were to get a zip line."

"Motorcycle."

"Four wheeler."

"Snowmobile"

"House party." Damn they sure can bribe.

"Okay you two stop. You're not going to bribe her." Edward said. He is such a party pooper.

"Yes, they are and Snoop Dog's winning."

"Paintball gun and target practice on Edwards head." Rosalie offered.

"Rosalie you can't bribe her." Edward said, frustrated.

"But I like her bribes. She's good at it!"

"Bella, he's right." Pixie said.

"I am?"

"He is?" I asked.

"Yes, Rosalie can't bribe you because she doesn't have a brain."

"Take my Rosie's side and I'll drink a bottle of ketchup." Emmett joined in the bribing.

"You can't bribe like that; she's not 5." Jasper said.

"I'll drink six jars of maple syrup, three tubs of melted butter, and five bottles of ketchup."

"Deal!"

10 minutes later…

Emmett finished off the last of the ketchup. He looked like he was going to puke…not that he can, though.

"Snoop dog has a brain."

"I'll double his bribe and add dog pee if you take that back." Alice said instantly. Does she really want to go through what Em just went through?

"I'll triple it." Emmett said when Rosalie glared at him to defend her again.

"Quadruple."

"Quintuple."

"No such thing." Pixie argueed.

"There is to. It means five!"

"Okay that's enough. Now, as I was saying, Jasper and Rose, you guys are going to be twins; Alice and Edward same with you two; Emmett and Bella twins as well."

Wait a minute… twins! Are they trying to ruin my non-existent life?

"No! I don't want to be his sister. Are you trying to ruin my life! First, I have to go to school and now I have to be my brother's sister! What's wrong with you people? That's just sick!" I yelled.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love Emmett, I just don't want to pose as his birth sister; especially not my first time in high school as a vampire.

"Why do I have to be his sister?"

"Hey I drink random shit and this is the thanks I get?"

"You offered to do it."

"So what it still counts."

"No it doesn't."

"Yes, it does."

"No, it doesn't."

"Yes it does."

"No. It. Doesn't." I gave Emmett a Rosalie like glare and leaned in towards him to seem more intimidating; which is difficult considering it is Emmett.

"_That_ is exactly why you two are going to be siblings. You look alike and act like brother and sister" Esme said.

"Yes because it makes _so _much sense to be siblings if you look alike." I said.

"Belsy we're family and you're my twin! This is going to be so much fun!" Emmett cheered. Maybe 'happy-go-lucky' here should join the cheerleading team.

What did I do to deserve this? I've _always _been a good little vampire. Well, except for maybe that one time I crashed the car just to see how it would feel like to be in a car crash. Or maybe that other time I wrecked the hotel room because I knew we could pay for the damages. Then there was the time I stole a forklift and broke down one of the walls of the house with Emmett. And there was that other time with the baseball bat… ok, so maybe I _haven't _been the _greatest _vampire, but I didn't do anything bad enough to deserve this.

He always acted so immature and pulled dumb pranks in class. I may be a little immature but at least my pranks aren't ammature.

"Esme…I really don't want to be his sister for the next two years." I said.

"Actually, honey, it's going to be the next _three_ years."

"WHAT?"

"You're all 16." Carlisle said.

I ran over and got on my knees and started begging.

"Please don't make go to school. I hate school. That's why I dropped out."

Then I started pouting. No one can resist my pout. And when it comes to Carlisle, extreme measures need to be taken sometimes.

Carlisle just looked at me, shaking his head and Edward interrupted my silent pleading. "Um…baby, you dropped out because you became a vampire."

I turned around in his arms and looked up at him, doing the same pout I had used on Carlisle. "But we both know I would have dropped out anyways Edward. Or I'd probably have been kicked out considering how much the teachers hated me."

"The teachers didn't hate you."

"Did to!"

"Well Maybe if stoped causeing Shit school be a hell of a lot easier."

"Shut up! BTWS that doesn't explain detention."

"or suspention." Emmy murmerd

"Because you ditched detention crushed chock and put it in their coffie. Oh don't forget about history class."

"Sew me for making it fun."

"Fun? "

"When I say fun I don't mean for the teachers." I said smirking. He shuddered at the memmery. Oooh I'm bad.

"If we go to school I want to have ADHD." I said changing the topic.

"Why?" Jasper asked.

"So I don't have to do homework and can get a way with anything."

"You can't do that."

"Actually, I know a way," Carlisle said. "But you're not getting away with it. If everyone else has to do work, so do you." My smile crumpled into a frown.

"Pwease." I said puppy pouting.

"I'll think about it."

"YAAAAAAAY!" Yay! He's thinking about it. That is so going to turn into a yes.

"When's school?" Jasper asked.

"Two weeks."

"Yay this will be so much fun. Oh mommy I want to be 45 minutes older because then I could boss her around and be her role model."

"A role model?" Rose asked.

"That means a person you look up to and want to be like." Alice said very slowly, looking at Rose pointedly. Now she's really gonna kill her. I 'm so exited. I might just pee myself.

"I know what it is I just don't know why he wants to be one."

"Because I am the bestest role model you can get! I inspire badness and how to go to jail." Em said looking super serious. He's never serious I'm screwed.

"I'd rather die!" I said slamming my head on the table.

"But Bella you're already dead" Emmett said.

"Again!" I yelled.

"Come on Bella lets go play more COD." Emmett said.

"No" Edward said.

"Why not?" Emmett questioned, "Who doesn't want to play COD?"

"Edward." I said.

"Whats wrong with COD?" I asked.

"I don't know."

"If you don't know then how am I suppose to know?"

"COD makes you violent and can damage your brain and."

"And your making shit up because you wanna have sex."

"What no I… I… um..uh.."

"You can't lie for shit. Come on Em let's go play BLACK OPS!."

"OK!"

"You really can't play Call Of Duty."

"COD."

"Why can't she play COD?"

"Ask Edward. He thinks he knows _everything_." I said, rolling his eyes at the end.

"Okay Eddie boy why can't she play COD?"

"She can't play COD because she's a kid. And I _don't_ think I know everything. And don't call Eddie boy." Hehehe his so funny when he gets mad. His head is like woah.

"You _do_ think you know everything and I am _not_ a kid!" I said. Edward looked at me apologetically. I glared at him. I wasn't really that mad at him. But this is sooooooo much fun.

I let down my shield and thought _no sex._ Then I turned it on again.

"NOO!" he moaned. Every one looked at him curiously, and I just laughed.

"So back to the game?" Emmett grabbed me and started to drag me out of the room.

"No." Edward said and grabbed my legs. Any harder and my legs would have snapted off. I'm really surprised that I'm still in one piece.

Then Edward yelled, "Let go of my girl!" He looked like he was ready to rip Emmett's head off. Ok maybe he took the whole "no sex" thing seriously.

Oops. He deserved it.

"No. I'll only let go if you let her go play COD right _now_."

"Okay, Emmett I promise she can play war games happy." He said and let go.

"Very!" Emmy stopped for a sec.

"COD!" He yelled 10 seconds later.

"No!" Edward said.

"But you _promised!" _

"Well I … Arrrggh!"

"Oh would you too just _shut up_!" Rose groaned.

"Some ones Pmsing." Emmett muttered under his breath.

Then Emmett picked me up and through me over his shoulder and ran out of the room.

Halfway to the living room I said, "Emmett put me down I can walk."

"I know I just want to make sure your lover wouldn't steal you before COD."

"That's more stupider then when I crashed the car."

"Is not."

"Is to."

"Will those two ever grow up?" I heard Rose ask.

Then Emmett dropped me on the floor face first, and ran back to the room.

He stuck his head in the doorway and said, "We can't were vampires."

Smartass. Hey, that's my job no far! He skipped back like worse then Alice skip, picked me up and through me on the couch.

"Beat you again!"

"Rematch."

"Alright no more COD." Edward said. He really doesn't like calling it that. Somebody can't wait for sex.

"No! You're not the boss of me."

"You tell him sis. Stick it to the man."

"It's late Bella."

"What are you talking about its 2 am that's early Edward."

"Nice try no more cod."

"Ok fine." He looked so happy thinking he won.

"We'll play Hallo."

"Okay squirt whatever you want. 200 each win?"

"K"

"Will you ever stop being so stubborn and listen to me once in a while?"

"To much work to listen you don't get to your point quick enough."

"My point is no more games."

"Not fast enough."

"Just listen to me."

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure your sure?"

"Yes."

10 minutes later…

I'm soooooo kicking his ass.

"Rematch later now wrestling is on." He said turning on the tv.

"You're not watching wrestleling Bella."

"Your right… I'm not watching wrestling… I'm talking with an old dude."

"Very mature."

"Like your mature."

"You cant watch people fight each other."

"Y not you did it all the time."

"No I didn't."

"That's not Emmett said."

"UUUURG! What am I going to do with you."

"Edward let her do what she wants."

"Yeah Eddie keep the peace let her be." See happy go lucky should be a cheerleader.

"Alice who's side are you on."

"Mine." She said like it was obvious.

"Come on do something don't just play video games do something."

"I'm not gameing I am watching wrestleing. And I know you're only saying that because you want sex you pedophile!"

"I'm not a pedophile!"

"What ever gets you through the day."

"Urg!"

"And Alice says my Rosie is the one who needs a brain." Emmett said

"I know he is a pedophile."

**AN HI peoples I don't own Notin. Ok so this fic is my peoples choice fic. So next chapter : a) car crash**

** b) Srached Porshe **

** c) pissed Emmy**

** d) All OF THE ABOVE!**

**Sry first fic and I honestly don't know if its funny so sry if in aint.**

**XOXO Officer Obious**


	2. IMPORTANT! YOU REALLY HAVE 2 READ THIS!

**A.N. Sorry that I didn't write another chapter but that's because I didn't get told what to write for it yet so please please please please tell me because I said it would be peoples choice and I don't want to lie so I need your decisions. Thank You. And thanks to everyone who favorite and alerted my story. And thank you to my first reveiwer. I will thank everyone else when I get more people and thank you for calling me funny. Oh, BTWS there will be swearing soon. You have been warned. Read at your own risk. Thank you and good whatever time it is that you are reading this at. **


	3. Chapter 3

**I DON"T OWN ANYTHING! ENJOY!**

**Chapter 2: AAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!**

Em and I were gaming and then Eddie stomped down the stairs. It was easy to tell that he was still pissed about last night.

"Hey, Eddie boy! Nice night yesterday, huh?" Emmett chortling.

"No. Bella wouldn't have sex with me." He started pouting.

"And he thinks I'm the child." I muttered under my breath. He turned and exchanged a glare with me.

"You tried to pressure my baby sister into fucking you?" Emmett asked getting into a rage. He sounded as if he were oblivious to the fact that we have sex every night.

Then Jazz dashed down to the living room.

"Could you calm down? Your temper is unneeded." Jazz asked. Any more emotion and he would probably start to PMS. We have enough _bipolars _in this house as it is.

"SHUT UP!" Emmy hollered. And now Em is lucky number 3.

"Don't act surprised Emmett. You were there when I '_pressured_'' her." Edward rolled his eyes. This is getting good. Maybe they'll start scrapping.

"Stop trying to steal my sister's innocence! You, missy, are getting a lesson on sex after school and good girl I'm proud you for not having sex." He smiled at me and fist pounded he's heart. Then Rose and Alice came down bitching at each other and Carlisle.

"I still don't get why we have to go to school!" Rose complained.

"I thought I made it clear last night but if you didn't _comprehend_ it. That means understand." Alice said, slowly and condescendingly. Rose was going to cut her. Then she looked at me and her mood changed.

"Hi."

"Hey." I said before she turned to Alice and got in a mood again.

Bipolar!

Then Carlisle intervened.

"Kids off to school! Try not to get suspended, honey." He added looking at me.

"I won't I'll just ditch." I assured him and gave him a smile. Then he gave a light chuckle. Then he sighed.

"What am I going to you?" He asked playfully.

Then Emmett just had to say something.

"Daddy, did you know that I am going to kill Edward?" He got a serious look on his face. Shit. He never looks serious it's so cool he looks like Jasper.

"Aren't you always trying to kill him?" Carlisle sighed. "What did he do this time?"

" Well yeah, but this time he tried to pressure my sister into having sex."

"Why are we starting school on a Friday?" I asked getting amused.

"So you'd have an invalid excuse for your tardiness." I smirked at that remark.

"The early bird gets the worm Hun."

"The second mouse gets the cheese Carlisle."

"What?" Edward asked while everyone was laughing.

"The first mouse dies on the trap so the second is free to get cheese." Jazz explained with to many words.

"Oh aren't you witty." Edward announced.

"Could you please learn English like Carlisle did?" I asked with a smile. That shut him up. I feel so smug.

"Yeah, I'm hip and down with the lingo." Fail.

"That was considered ancient in the 80s." Alice had to give her input as always.

"Where is mommy?" Emmett asked. That was a good question.

"Oh right she's hunting or something." He doesn't know his wife is. This is tight.

"You don't know were wife is." I started to chuckle.

"What of course I know where she is."

"Ight. Were is she?" he started to choke up. This is legite.

"Uh l-l-look at the time you kids better go. Don't want to be late for your first day."

"I do I have an invalid excuse." I started to smirk this is hilarious.

"Just go okay."

"Kay. Whatever." We all dashed to Alice's Porsche.

"Is whatever considered hip?" He hollered from the garage as we accelerated down the streets.

"Well that was _fun_." Alice supposed trying to make conversation.

"Can I sing?" Emmett suggested.

"NO!" Everyone responded perfectly insinked.

"Ok… oohhhh back to school back to school to prove to Eddie that I have a brain. I got my books with me I'm in a neh mood I hope that it doesn't rain." He kept singing it every time he sounded worse if that were possible.

"Please make him stop." Then Rose knocked on his head.

"Don't know bout that brain thing, it sounds kind of hallow in there."

"If I don't have a brain then how did I prove that humans can go through a wall head first?" He said trying to look smart. Edward got really tense.

"That was bomb." I added.

**Empov.**

-_Flash back_-

_It was a boring afternoon. Edward was hunting and decided 'his baby' needed a stupid babysitter because apparently she's going to get myself killed._

"_I'm bored want to have some real fun." I asked._

"_Yeah." Her face lit up. Poor kids got to be dieing to have some fun. I better think of something good._

"_Do you want to see if I can find a way to make you fly through a wall? I'll make a human sling shot or cannon." Woo Hoo I'm going to be little one's favorite._

"_Okay." She said getting excited. Awe she's such a little dare devil she's going to be just like me._

"_You have to wear a helmet kay?" she nodded._

_~later~_

"_Yes it worked that was awesome! Want to go again?" Just then Eddie boy just had to storm in and ruin my fun._

_~ end of flashback ~_

**BPOV**

"It wasn't that bad Eddy." Em said. Then he started to freak.

"We were safe we used helmets and stuff." Emmy added.

"Yeah and pillows." I said.

"It was dangerous you could have got hurt."

"But I didn't." Yeah I'm putting up a hell of an argument here. I think.

"Emmett why did you put my baby in danger like that." Edward asked.

"I wanted to be her favorite." He answered.

"I'm her fav got it." Rosalie um corrected.

"No I am." Alice responded.

They always got to get in a fight bout everything. They kept on arguing over who my favorite was. Then the car started to serve out of control and they started to fight over the wheel. Then Rose snatched it from Ali and skinned a pole. The Porsche got scratched. Alice is going to flip!

"See that I just saved your life." Rosalie told me. WTF. Alice was steaming when she saw the scratch. It went from the mirror to the bumper.

"Oups did I do that. My bad. Sorry." R said sarcastically. Then Alice drove silently all the way to the rat hole planning her revenge.

When we got to school I found out that Emmett and I had same schedule. Yes this is perfect for my plan. I acted sad about it this is all part of my scheme. All right I got to be late for my classes for plan 2 to work out.

I got to my first class math, 10 minutes late.

"Do you have an excuse or did you get lost."

"Oh right yeah. Kay uh I was late because I didn't want to come to class." I answered. At least I'm honest. Then I walked over to my bro who was currently waving at me and laughing with the rest of the class. Then I took a seat next to him and started drawing. Then I got busted.

"Miss McCarty what are you drawing on."

"My desk. Its ok I have an eraser." I'm scoring so many laughs right now. This dude is so pissed.

"Oh and BTdubs don't call me Miss it's to formal so we'll just be on a first name bases. Kay Bobby?" He let out a loud sigh.

"Stay quiet!"

"Hey no need to hualla bob sides I aint gonna be quiet. Kay." God this class loves me thank god I still got it. Alright class ends in about 15 minutes lets see what I can manage to get done. Bobby turned around to teach. I'll give him about 5 minutes.

Time's up.

"It's too quiet!" I started to wine.

"Miss McCarty.''

"Bella."

''Would like to leave my class.''

''Ì thinks everyone would like to.'' Everyone started to crack up. He let out a sigh and gave up. 8 minutes left. I'll just let him teach. Finally the bell rung. I bolted to my locker.

Better do _good_ in English with Mr. Benvolio. Okay then off to English.

I got to English 20 minutes late. When I walked in to class they were reading Romeo and Juliet. Ben seemed kind of upset for some reason. He cleared his thought.

"Do have something to say to me?"

"No. I got a couple of questions but nothing to say."

"Are they about the curriculum?"

"Not really."

"Then keep them to yourself."

I walked to the back and took a seat beside Emmy. I listened and then laughed.

"What is it?"

"Were you named after Benvolio?"

"No I wasn't." This dude is seriously trying hard to stay calm.

"Was he named after you?"

"How old do you think I am?"

"About," then I got cut off by the bell. Time for lunch. AT lunch Edward was being an ass wipe.

"But I wanna." I argued.

"No you're not starting a food fight you'll get in trouble."

"I don't care."

"I do. Okay you're not doing that."

"Please."

"No."

"Shit head."

"Oh very mature."

"Yup." Then Alice and Rosalie walked over still bitching about the stupid car scratch. God when are they going to drop that shit. Then they sat down.

"Hey duff. Hey honey how are you?" Rosalie greeted us.

"Edward's being a shit head and he won't let start a food a fight." I started to pout.

"Don't worry I'll slap him later."

"Thank you." She smiled. Alice got real jealous for some reason.

"I can slap him harder." She murmured. Then Emmett came.

"Hey guys what the hell is going on here? Did you piss off my sister?"

Emmett said getting defensive. Just then a group of people started walking up to us. They look exactly like Jessica, Lauren, Mike, everyone from before and us. What the fuck? Then they approached us. The one that looked like Jessica stated yammering on about something.

"What are you guys doing in our seats?" These were are fucking seats since I went to school. The bitch stared at us waiting for an answer. Then the Mike clone talked to me.

"Hey baby names Mitch. Mitchel Newton." Oh Fuck.

"That's nice. Bye." Damn why aint hew leaving.

"Bye. Leave now."

"No way."

"Cocky Bastard."

"Cute, but it's a man Says you do world. So congrats you're my new girlfriend."

"No. It's a knee meets balls world. So you pray that I give enough time to find a cup."

"I like your type."

"I kill your type." He's not going to give up any time soon. Then the clone Jessica had to open her fucking mouth.

"You guys need to leave before I cut you all."

"Oh if you go…" I got cut off by Edward.

"Bella no relax." He tried to stop me. I don't get the big deal. I could take her I was a 10th degree black belt. Highest you can go. Besides I learned how to scrap on the streets. I was always rich growing up but still I fought a couple people here and there. Until Edward found my black eye and smelled the blood I don't get why he was mad I told him it wasn't mine. Jasper keeps trying to calm me down.

"You know it's always could to count to 10 when your upset." Oh great Edward's clone.

"Two Ten. Bring it on bitch."

"NO! You are not going to touch my baby sister or I will mess you up." Then she extended a finger and touched me.

"Touch." She then made a fist and punched my right eye. Yes now everything is considered defense. I punched her back and next thing you know hell broke loose. We smashed into walls, tables, chairs, and the gross food place. Everyone was yelling and then after 10 minutes of smashing and hair pulling and headlocks. I warmed up this was going to get really good I jumped up to perform a double kick. And bam now she's smashed into the floor. She pulled me down and now it is like watching Diva Wow. It's been about 15 minutes so a teacher is going to break it up soon.

Then a teacher came and ruined all my fun. Good vampires bruise now I can get away with this.

We were brought to the principal's office. They believe I didn't start the fight. They called are parents and 20 minutes later Esme and Carlisle were here. Now it's only the four of us in the office.

"Honey I'm not mad but people need to think we are good parents ok." Carlisle said only for me to here.

"Your child got in a fight and frankly all her teachers are mad with her. And she was late her first day." Tattletale.

CPOV

When will this guy shut up? I already know she isn't the perfect student. I'm going to use this opportunity to become her favourite.

"I know are child isn't your best student but. Honey why don't you go outside the office for a minute."

"OK." After she left I started my plan.

"Look the thing is my child has ADHD and dyslexia. And maybe that is why she does these things it is a way of dealing." The expression on his face should that he thought it was a possibility.

"Wow. We should discuss this further. She should go to class while we discuss this."

"Alright." I walked outside and saw Bella playing with an airplane.

"Go to class."

"Thanks." This better make me her favourite.

BPOV

Carlisle is being so awesome right now. I really owe him big time for this. Better get to fuck it imma ditch school and chill with Jake. Then Emmett came.

"Hey sis what up?"

"Emmy I wanna ditch school its boring." I said in my special voice I always get my way with this voice.

"Awe do you miss the mutt. You haven't seen him in two weeks." He looked at my face and started to melt.

"Kay go to chemistry with me and I'll give you $50. It's the last class. Come on I'll let you play with the fire burner."

"Okay." This is going to be fun.

We walked into class and we took seats at the back. Then the teacher just had to talk.

"Why don't you sit up here plenty of room in the front?"

"Oh I can't. I can't see closely I got to be all the way in back." Then before for he could say anything he got called to the office. Maybe it's about my _condition_.

"Emmett."

"Yes sis."

"Is the principal gay?"

"What type of gay?"

"I don't know" I said mumbling.

"Yes I think so."

"Thanks Emmy."

"No prob." Then the teach came back from the principal. And started to teach. Then I noticed that prick Mitch was sitting in front of me. So I reached into his bag and temporarily _borrowed _some flammable axe spray. Then I accidentally turned on the fire burner. And sprayed some axe because it kind of stinks back here. Uh oh Somehow the dumb bitch that started shit with me got blamed. I love school. Yay home time.

**A.N. ok so I am really sorry that this chapter took so long. But I was watching a kid almost every other day training for a karate tournament and battle of the bands and I had some minor problems with my teacher. I am really sorry but I hope this chapter was worth the wait and I'll try my best to make the next chapter done soon and I might write it when I have a sugar high so. Oh you might not believe it but a lot of stuff in this story that are going to happen and happened already actually happened to me it like a semi true story. Really sorry about how long this took I'll try my best to get the next one done soon I'm just really buissy and I'm so sorry. Thanks for reading. =D **


	4. Chapter 4

**I don't own anything.**

**Chapter 3: Yeah the weekend!**

So first day of school over and it's the weekend. Toady was actually kind of fun. It made me realize that I'm still has bad or bader then before. I better go thank Carlisle. He is being so awesome.

"OMG! Guess what!" R said getting real happy. So it probably has something to do with cheerleading.

"OMJ what?"

"The school has a cheerleading team. I can join and then I'll have enough friends for a sleep over. Oh don't worry if the bitch that scrapped you is on the team I won't invite her."

"No it's ok you don't have to do that I'll have a bunch of pranks ready for her."

"Like what?" She asked getting interested.

"Well they involve fake blood or maybe real I'll text you. Kay?" I said when I noticed Edward walking in. He doesn't approve of my pranks because they're really awesome.

"Okay. I'm going to go practice try outs are on Wednesday."

"Kay."

"Honey I'm going to go hunting don't trash the place." Edward said.

"Ok bye." I turned off my shield for a minute. _Don't worry I'll only trash the place with you._ Then I turned it back on and winked at him. He smiled at me before he speeded a way.

Then Emmett came bursting into the room.

"Let's play video games. And then we'll have the talk later. Kay?" Then he started thinking.

"No what maybe I'll just give Eddy boy the talk. He is the one that wanted to get it on." We started playing Hallo.

"Emmy can you not have the talk with anyone please?" He looked at me.

"Sure thing Belsey. I'm tired of getting my ass kicked in games. Can we wrestle?"

"Yes! Should we move table?" He thought about it for a minute.

"Nope more fun with the tables." I nodded my head in agreement. We started to wrestle. He flipped me on the couch a couple of times. Then we body slammed into each other. And then he was getting ready to flip me over his shoulder into the coffee table. I'm going to miss that table it was a great foot rest. But the stupid pixie had to ruin all are fun.

"Emmett drop her! And not on the floor or table."

"No we don't take orders from pixies. Tell her Bella." She started to glare at me.

"Go choke on pixie dust tinker bell. We want to play." I said. Then Emmett high fived me.

"I'll call Edward."

"I'll call Snoop Dog." Then R speeded down the stairs.

"What's wrong?" She said looking at me.

"Alice won't let us play."

"It's ok the pixie is PMSing today. You guys should play war games or something." Emmett through me on the couch.

"Okay babe. Sorry." She nodded her head.

"Can we go to toys R us? With Ali's credit card." I asked getting excited

"Sure you can." Then she gave us Alice's gold card. And then she looked at Ali. Then Alice started to talk.

"I'll go with you guys and buy you whatever you want. Even ice cream." She offered.

"Ok!" I responded. Then me and Emmett raced to the car. It was a quiet drive. I decided I would text Snoop Dog some pranks now.

_Imma get blood and put it in her bed when she's sleeping. Then she gonna wake up run 2 the bathroom n imma pop a stink bomb in every potty. And imma switch her perfume with fart spray. N gets shaving cream and a feather and warm water._

Then I sent the message and waited for a response.

_Lmfffaaaooo! What else? _

I texted back.

_I dunno ill think of more._

Then she texted me back.

_K_

We were finally at the mall. We raced to toys R us at human speed and Alice tried to keep up with us. When I won the race and we were in the store we ran to the bikes. We had races with the bikes and the scooter and fire trucks (the ones for two year olds). Then by the time Alice found us we were playing baseball. I swung at the ball with a cool metallic blue bat. And then the ball hit Ali's forehead.

"Oops sorry." I said. She looked calm.

"It's ok. Don't worry about it."

"Impressive Belsy. That was so awesome." Emmett's tone really exemplified pride. He gave me a high five. Yay I love high fives. Then I saw the coolest Barbie thingy ever. I ran up to it to get a better look.

"Emmy look it looks like Alice!" He ran over and examined the doll in the box. It was a pixie with wings and black spiky hair. It was so cool. His mouth dropped open.

"Wow! It does." Then Alice came and ripped the doll from his hands.

"That thing looks nothing like me." She said clearly repulsed. Then I took a picture of it and send it to Snoop Dog. With a text.

_OMJ I found a doll that looks like Alice._

She sent a text back.

_LLLMMFFAAOOO! It does._

We put the doll back and headed for the paint ball guns.

"Alice I want a paintball gun." I said with a bit of a wine.

"Rosalie was going to buy you that for Christmas or Nerf guns. So I'll just but you both." She went to get the guns while I and Emmett played on the walk on keyboard. We are pros at playing O Mac Donald. Now that Alice bought the guns Snoop Dog is probably going to get me the walk on key board.

"Emmett wants to go E B and get video games?"

"Okay." When we got to E B we played the trial games. And I Pwned Emmett. We started to look around for more games. Emmett found some vintage games. The first super Mario Bros made for X-box. The first Kerby game. And I found the first Hallo, COD, GTA, and the first GT. We bought every vintage game we could find. We already had all the new ones. Then Alice had a proposition.

"Let's go shopping at the places Alice wants to go." She proposed.

"Nope sorry can't really tired. A lot of running today." Emmett and I said at the same time. She sighed in frustration and we went home.

Once we got in the house R greeted us.

"So. What you guys get?"

"Alice bought us games and guns." I announced with a smile.

"Did she really?" I nodded my head then she turned and glared at Alice. Emmett and I just watched her bring in the stuff.

When the stuff was in the house Rosalie opened the guns.

"Oh no." She said. We all stared at her with curiosity.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"You guys don't have a target for the bullets."

"Well Rosalie could be the target." Alice suggested.

"Nope it's alright we'll just shoot the house." I said. Emmett nodded. We grabbed the guns and ran outside shooting the guns for hours. By the time we ran out of paint bullets the house was covered. Splats everywhere explosions of colours it's so pretty.

"Oh my god." Emmett said breath taken, looking at it.

"I know, we made are house a paintball field." I said proudly. Then we heard a car and a very angry voice.

"What happened to house?" We turned around to find a very pissed off Esme. So I did what I always do in situations like this. I turned my charm on.

"Sorry." I said.

"Do you want to tell me why my house is painted?"

"It was an accident. I'm really really really sorry."

"Uh yeah me to." Emmett said.

"It was all Alice fault she bought guns and she gave us ice cream." We both said. She stormed inside the house.

"Alice Rosalie gets down here!" They came down.

"Why did you get them guns? Why did you let them shoot the house?"

"I was practicing for cheerleading. I had nothing to do with this." Snoop Dog said.

"I had to if I didn't get the guns then Rosalie would of bought it for Christmas."

"Go clean my house Alice. How could you be so immature?"

"Do I clean too? I did shoot the house so." I asked.

"No you don't have to." Yes it worked again.

"Can we keep the guns?" Emmett asked.

"Please." I added.

"Sure why not?" Yes. I went Snoop Dog's room.

"Can I help you come up with a cheer for try outs? Please." I asked.

"Ok sure." I started to think for a bit.

"Give me a P. Give me a L. Give me a Z. Give me a F. Give me a U. Give me a C. Give me a K. Give a M. Give me an E. Please fuck me yay!" She started laughing.

"I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"I just can't ok." I sighed.

"Ok." Then I looked at her with big eyes and pouted. She sighed.

"Ok. I'll think about it." I smiled and my face lit up.

"Yay!" Then I ran out of the room and turned on the T.V. to … awe it's not giving anything good right now. I'm going to go on face book. I dashed to my laptop and logged in. Holy shit! 124 friends request. Who the fuck, are these people? Oh they all from school. I confirmed all of them. Well most of them. I don't think imma add Mitch. Hey Mitch rhymes with bitch. Mitch is a mother fucking bitch. Yeah that's a good one. Okay what now? Hmm… already went to mall, already wrestled, already played video games and paint ball. I know arcade! I love the arcade.

I ran around looking for Emmett then after 5 minutes I found him in Edward's room.

"Emmy what are you doing?"

"Oh well you know how you said you always wanted to read Alice's diary?" I nodded my head.

"Well here it is! She hid it in Edward's old room." He held it out to me.

"Wow! Emmett it took us 100 years to find that out!" God and it was so obvious.

"So Belsy, what did you want to tell me?"

"Huh? Oh yeah I just wanted to know if you wanted to go to the arcade?" He dropped the dairy on the bed while he jumped up.

"Yeah sure thing. Or we can do some reading." He waved the book in front of my face.

"Know what bro? People are right me and you should really start reading more."

"Did you know that it is actually _you and I_ _"_

"Maybe I would if I did a little bit more reading." I said while picking up the book and sitting down. We open the book and Emmett read some of it to me, in a girly voice.

"Dear dairy, today I went on a field trip to the zoo. It was so totally fun. But then Bella had this idea where she would break in the pit with Emmett and they would chaise me with an anaconda. They did it sucked I mean they know I'm afraid of snakes it's not fair! And I'm really bumped out because I think she likes Rosalie more than me. But never mind that can't be true I mean if I wasn't her favourite then why would she prank me so much?" This brings back memories.

"Emmett does Ali write when she talks?" He looked at me.

"Yes probably. And I mean Oh my god! Emmett is going to take Bella bear hunting! Oh No that could be danger… no wait she'll be fine good. That's a relief." Then we heard someone walking up the stair and they smelt like paint and cleaning stuff… Oh shit Alice!

**A.N. okay sorry this took a while but I've been busy I'm working on the next chapter right now hopefully it'll be done soon. Hope you guys liked it and thanks for reading. Oh and a special than to Living On a Snowflake's Dream,**

**Water Child 1990, Yuukisama123andTwilighter12.**


	5. Plan DRUN!

**I Don't Own Anything!**

**Chapter 4: Plan D… RUN!**

Emmett put the book back then he grabbed me and we jumped out the window. We dashed through trees until we were so far from the house we couldn't be heard.

"So Bella we're going to the arcade right?"

"Yeah." He put me down. Then we heard something or someone coming.

"Shit!" Emmett said you can tell he was starting to freak out.

"Quick Em let's go up that tree. Alice wouldn't climb that high." I pointed to the tree it was at least 800 feet. He nodded his head and we started to climb. We were almost at the top when we heard the thing getting closer. We looked down and saw Edward. Emmett and I exchanged a look with each other. Oh shit we must have gone farther than we thought. I gave Emmett a look that said _follow my lead_. Then I jumped down the tree he followed shortly after he gave me the _what the hell are you doing_ look. I snook up behind Edward and grabbed his shoulders and in a deep voice I yelled.

"Oh my god!"

After I screamed OMG. He screamed like a little girl and waved his arms while he jumped. Then he turned around clutching the part of his chest were his heart is and said.

"Honey Emmett what are you to doing here?"

"Oh well Emmett and me were bored so we decided to wrestle bears and lions." I explained.

"Oh okay. It's Emmett and I." I shrugged my shoulders because well I don't really give a shit.

"Why were you guys in a tree?" Oh great more questions.

"We were in a tree because we were waiting for the bears and lions."

"Yeah it's called a steak out." Emmett added. Yes he caught on.

"Okay well you guys have fun. Be careful." Why would I be careful? That's stupid I wanna have fun not be careful. Then a dear came and Edward dashed off. I looked at Emmett so he would know that now's are chance to run. We started running out of the forest but then we saw a bear. We wrestled it but we let it live and we didn't really injure it mostly we played tag with it. When we got to the arcade we started looking for a shooting game.

"Emmett look black ops. Wanna see who can kill the most zombies in 10 minutes?"

"Yes. Oh and by the way I'm going to go easy on you."

"Uh huh sure you are." After 10 minutes I killed 586 zombies and Emmett killed 3.

"It's all your fault you took my zombies No fair!" Oh great now I got Flash checking me out. After an hour of being followed I won every game and got all the high scores. Emmett pouted and said things like I hit my eye so my perception is off. I got a black eye and my game is still on. Then I decided I was going to make a joke. I won 2nd place in a game and wrote _is gay_ then I won 2nd place again and wrote _the guy in third._ People laughed a bit it's such an old thing but seems like everything I do still works. Then a boy 4 feet tall dressed as Flash approached me. He laughed a bit. Wait why is he dressed like Flash? Oh yeah today's comic con.

"You have really good gaming skills."

"Thanks"

"Do you think you could teach me some tricks sometime?"

"Uh sure I guess." Then he giggled and ran off with all his other friends. And I swear I heard him say _Oh yeah I got a date._ Oh shit he thinks were going on a date. Dam. When should I tell him I'm taken? EHH maybe later. Hmmm or maybe he'll be able to take a hint unlike Mitch freaking Newton. Then my phone started ringing. Me and Emmett looked at each other. Are eyes full of fear. The _Oh Shit_ expression on are faces. I looked down at my phone and looked back up to Emmett.

"Alice." I said in a mumble clearly expressing my fear. I rejected the call. And now we probably have 5 minutes before she starts chasing after us.

"Emmett. Member plan D?"

"From the prank war?" He said raising an eyebrow. And I nodded my head.

"All right sis. Plan D it is." He said right before left the arcade and took off to the night. We already had are minds cleared so Alice couldn't see and my shield was on the whole time so Edward won't know. Besides we never told anyone about _Plan D_. So were safe. Good.

"Uh Bella, I member Plan D. But I also member that it happened five years ago, in Switzerland."

I gave him the _keep talking _look.

"Well it was in Switzerland so our hide away base isn't here and we did have blue prints and stuff. I mean we were prepared." I looked at him and raised my eye brow. Then I said in a cool tone.

"And who says I didn't come back to Forks, prepared?" As I finished the sentence I pulled out a folded paper from my black leather jacket. His face lit up and he smiled at me.

"I trained you well."

"Yup." I said as I nodded my head in agreement. I laiyed the paper on the monument outside the mall. Is that illegal? Hmmm … only if I get caught. We looked at the steps first.

"Okay we already have are minds clear. Right?" I said knowing that he might have forgotten. He nodded his head.

"Huh? Oh yeah cleared my mind when you said Plan D. And you have your shield up already?"

"Huh? Oh don't worry bout that. It's been up all day."

"Kay. So step two?" We looked at the paper carefully. Then Emmett read in a clear voice.

"Run to secret hide away base, and make sure weapons are loaded. Uh do we have a base?"

"Yeah. I build one before we left to Switzerland. It's loaded."

"Kay good. Where is it?"

"Follow me." We walked at human pace trying not to draw attention to ourselves. As soon as we were in the woods we took off. Dashing down hills through trees until we saw the river. Then we flipt over it and started running again. I love the adrenaline. It's so epic! I had made sure the secret base was in a very remote location so we were running for about 30 minutes until we made it.

"Kay stop running now. We're here."

"Dam it Bella! Did you have to hide it that well? I mean the cave was bit too much and the river!"

"Well, we needed to jump the cave so we could get on the mountain."

"Are we even in Forks?" He was getting agitated.

"Nope." I said coolly.

"Then where are we?"

"Kay, well, the thing is, we're kinda in uncharted territory." His face turned colours.

"In what?"

"Uncharted territory. You know like the places that aren't on a map because there either dangerous or weren't discorded by the government yet." I said calmly.

"Couldn't you have made it a little bit closer?"

"Well yeah but then we'd be on the map. See now we can't be found not even by GPS."

"Look all I'm saying is it could have been closer. You know like the base in -" I cut him off.

"That base wasn't on a map or in Switzerland either. It was an underground cave behind a waterfall."

"What?"

"Calm down alright you haven't even seen this base yet." I ran through the last to trees and he followed. When he saw it his mouth dropt open. I knew he'd like it. It was a giant tree house two trees in the front were used has pillars. It was kinda like a tree Minchin or tree castle. There was an area for dropping water bombs at the top. And inside there was flat screens and a training zone with numchucks and water guns and shooting targets. There was an indoor pool and a slide and trampoline and zeppelin.

"Uh how do you build these things?"

"Trial and error." We ran in the base and I gave him the tour. The underground level took a while to show him after the first floor with the gaming room the wrestling room the gym and the bouncy house I got bored and just let him look around. He'll probably get lost but I mean he'll find his way back. I sat down to the bean bag in the game room and turned on the PS3. Then Emmett was beside me.

"Why can't I get any reception?"

"Because I don't want to get tracked down by phone."

"We can't its uncharted."

"Well yeah but GPS if they get close enough they can pick up our scent."

"If there isn't reception how did we get internet and electricity?"

"Oh I messed round with a couple wires."

"Kay well we better get home I don't want my lady to worry about me." I looked at him for a moment then said.

"Kay fine let's go then."

We dashed home. And when we got there Snoop Dog ran down and grabbed me.

"Where tell hell were you?"

"I can't tell you."

"What do you mean? Why'd you leave where did you go?" The questions keep on coming.

"I left because I thought Alice was going to kill me."

"Why?"

"Because me and Emmett read her diary." I mumbled so low even a vampire would have a hard time hearing it.

"What?"

"Me and Emmett read her diary." I said a little bit loader.

"What?"

"Me and Emmett read her diary." I said load enough for her to her.

"What did I tell you about reading diaries?"

"We never read yours."

"Oh okay then what was in it. Oh yeah don't fucking do that again Kay? You fucking scared me."

"Words and what about your man? He was gone to."

"Yeah that's okay. No offense honey."

"Oh none taken sometimes I wish I had a break from you." She glared.

"I take it back."

"Yeah no sex."

"Awe. But I said I take it back." She gave him another death glare.

"Bella go upstairs. I need to have a little talk with my husband." Shit! He's in for it.

So I went to my room and played a few games on the computer. While they were bitching at each other I heard a few things break. Dam it! He's never going to get out this one. I better go save his ass.

When I got to his room I had to duck because a vase went flying hit the wall and shattered into a million pieces. Snoop Dog scares me when she's mad.

"Where's Esme and Carlisle and Alice." She looked at me and her rage stopped.

"Carlisle is in L A at a doctor convention and he took Esme with him. And Alice went looking for you guys yelling I'm kill those punks."

"Jasper?"

"He followed her trying to calm her down." Then Snoop Dog's phone started ringing.

"Hey?"

"I can't find them. I've been everywhere even ToysRus."

"Oh right forgot to tell you their home already and they've been here for over an hour."

"What the fuck! You bitch why didn't you tell me. I don't know who I'm killing first them or you."

"Sorry I kind of forgot."

"Yeah and I kind of forgot to tell you that I hide all your make up and brushes and stuff."

"Fuck you! Where are they!"

"Sorry can't remember and neither can my scratched Porsche." Her phone made a beepy noise because Alice hung up. Dam those two really should make up but I mean maybe they shouldn't because it's kind of funny.

"That bitch is dead!"

"Well duh. You know something babe we're all dead."

"Emmett SHUT UP!" She flashed out of the house.

"We're you going?" I hollered after her.

"To find my shit!" I bowed my head and pouted.

"Awe Emmett we're all alone…. Do you know what means?" He pretended to think about it for a moment.

"House party?"

"Exactly." A grin grew on my face. This weekend is going to be epic.

**A.N.: Yo sorry this took so long but I hope it was worth it see I had to work on something for a competition and stuff and I mean it took a while Imma be kinda buissy for the next month but I'll try to get the next one up soon as I can. And check out my sister loves2readbooks and thanks to all you readers. And uh warning next chapter might have a fight ;) ight laterez.**


	6. Chapter 6

**I don't own anything.**

**Chapter 6: Oh hey Edward**

EDPOV:

"What the fuck did you do?" As I asked I saw my sister and brother's faces go pale.

"Um nothing." My girl said.

"Nothing?"

"It's just a little get together right Em."

"Uh yeah it's a get together." Then a foul smell intoxicated me.

"Why do I smell dog?"

"Oh um Jake's here." She looked at the floor.

"I can't believe you did this."

"Why we meet at one of my parties."

"Not you. Him!"

"Me?" Emmett looked surprised.

"Look it's not his fault it was my idea!"

"Shut up babe." As I swung for a shot at his face something caught my arm I looked down and my girl was holding it.

"If you're going to fight someone its gunna be me. And I don't think you'd like that very much." She looked serious.

"Sorry."

"It's ok just stop blaming my big bro."

"I don't blame him."

"Yeah you kind of did. It's both our faults." Emmett said.

"Mostly mine." Bella added.

"No he should have stopped it from happening."

"Shut up please. The whole thing was my idea. He was being a good bro."

"Yeah I was being a good bro. And sorry bro but I love parties it's how I am." Dam them always sticking up for each other. He corrupted my Angel. I gave him a dirty look before storming off to the mic and saying.

"Alright party over! Everybody go home now!" then Bella took the mic.

"It's not over." Then Em.

"Yeah my bro has turrets. He doesn't know what he's talking about." Then Bella punched him.

"Alright so he doesn't actually have turrets but he is kind of drunk. He gets pissed and annoying when he drunk."

Dam!

"I'm going to fucking kill you!"

"He also gets very violent."

"No I don't!"

"Sure bro." I glared at him.

**BPOV**

God that was close. I heard someone crying. And it sounded like it was coming from my right. I looked over and there on the couch was a girl with black hair and glasses holding back tears. I walked up to her.

"Hey you alright?" She looked up.

"Huh oh yeah uh everything's fine."

"Wanna talk about it. Don't worry I can keep a secret."

"Yeah kind of but it's pretty crowded here."

"Then how bout we go to my room."

"You sure?"

"Yeah come on." She followed me up three flights of stairs to my room. When she walked inside my room her eyes grew big.

"Whoa you have a really big room."

"Yeah I guess. You can sit anyway you want."

"Thanks. Whoa you have a lot of instruments." She looked at the far end. Were five guitars, three basses, drums, mic, and a Dj system was. She sat on my bed.

"So what's with the tears?" I said nicely.

"My boyfriend cheated on me."

"He's stupid."

"Really?" She looked up at me.

"Yeah I mean you seem cool."

"Well she was really hot so."

"That's not an excuse."

"Yeah it is I mean if he wants someone that's pretty."

"You're pretty."

"Really?"

"Yeah"

"Thanks" I smiled at her.

"Look don't waste your time crying over him."

"But he's-"I cut her off.

"Not worth it. He's a two timing douche and if you waste your time crying then he wins. And I don't know about you but I hate losing."

"So then what do I do?"

"Move on."

"But I can't."

"You don't half to be over him just make it look like you are. Now I'm not saying go hook up with twenty something guys. Just don't let him know you still care." She stared at me stunned.

"Crying doesn't help; it just makes you miserable and boosts his ego." She stared at me again.

"Is he down there?"

"Yeah."

"Then wipe your tears, keep your head up, and go dance with a guy or a friend or something in front him."

"Why?"

"So he knows that you're better off without him."

"But."

"He can't walk around acting like he's too good for everyone and he can get any girl he wants."

"Your right." I nodded my head.

"Can I ask your something?" she asked me.

"Yeah sure."

"Are all boys' stupid jerks." I sat down beside her.

"Not all of them but most." She sighed and her face fell.

"Look if there's one thing I know bout boys it's that they're like purses." She looked at me confused.

"They're cute full of shit and they can always be replaced." She laughed a bit and smiled at me.

"So you wanna stay up here and chill or go dance you don't have to dance with a guy you can stay with me. But if you want I meat this guy Ben in my science class. He seems nice and I think I saw him."

"Alright let's go."

'Hold up. Sorry but what's your name."

"Oh yeah sorry it's Angela." We walked down stairs and I saw Ben.

"There he is." I looked at her confused.

"Paul my boyfriend." He was blonde and looked like a major douche. I don't get why she cried over him I mean look at this guy no muscle, he bleaches his teeth, and his hair is combed over with a fucking side cap.

"Yeah well there's Ben close to him sitting all alone lets go talk to him." We walked up to Ben.

"Hey Ben."

"Oh hey Bella." He looked at Angela

"This is my friend Angela."

"Oh hey I think you're in my geography class."

"Yeah I am."

"Wanna maybe go dance or something?"

"I'd love to." They walked to the dance floor and Paul's face was priceless. Awe look at those two. They're so cute. I'm like the fucking of match making. Then Paul walked up to me and started talking in a deep forced voice.

"Hey babe great party. So you wanna mosey on over to the dance floor and grind with me?"

"No."

"Why the fuck not?"

"Your hair's stupid, you said mosey, you're a douche bag, and by the why you might wanna practice your sexy voice it's not working for you." Then I smiled and walked away. I saw Edward in the corner all depressed better go talk to him work things out.

"Hey"

"Oh Hey babe. It's a good party you made."

"Thanks sorry about the fight and surprise house party and stuff."

"It's ok your like that it's why I love you and lets not tell Carlisle alright."

"Kay you wanna know the best part about fighting?"

"Yeah sure what is it?"

"Make up sex come on." His face lit up and I grabbed his arm and pulled him upstairs. We went to his room and locked the door. He smirked at me and I jumped on him as we started making put with passion.

"You know Jake can hear us." He said.

"That's ok. And so can Emmett."

"Mm hmm" Then we were at the bed . . . under the covers . . . and then we realized we were here for 2 hours. And we started kissing again.

"Mm babe want to go back down stairs?" He said with me on top of him.

"Yes and no how about you?" He looked at me funny.

"What do you mean yes and no?"

"I mean I want to have sex again but the party is awesome so I want to be there to." He tought for a minute.

"Well how about we go party and when it's over we have more sex?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Good plan let's do that."

"Alright after you babe." He said politely opening the door.

"Hold up I gotta fix my hair."

"Why you look sexy with your hair messed up like that." I thought about for a moment and he's so right I look amazing with my hair messed. Then we kissed again and went down stairs. We opened the door and Jake was standing there arms crossed.

"Hey heard you to made up huh?" I rolled my eyes.

"How many still there?"

"Uh a lot you still got like hundreds and its two am!"

"Oh shit Alice is coming home soon!" I looked at Edward kind of scared.

"Don't worry Bells you always got a plan. So Rosalie and Alice still fighting?" Edward asked.

"Yeah kind of but I got a plan to fix it. I'll tell you guys about it later but right now we got to get everybody out."

"How we going to do that?" Jake asked.

"Jake start beer pong and paintballing and shit. Emmett Djs. I start keg stands. And then Edward come here with a police car and shut it down."

"I'll bring five." My man said.

"And I'll get the pack to drive some of the cars so that it's faster."

"Kay good." We all went to are positions and ten minutes later the "cops" should up.

"Party over everyone go home or go to jail." And then the place evacuated real quick.

"Kay now what?" Emmett asked?

"Now we clean this."

"Alice and Rosalie will smell the alcohol." Jake added.

"I'll pretend to be drunk. We say we were bored so you came and we got drunk and high and stuff."

"Alright."

"Um babe what if they ask why you guys drank so much this place ricks of the stench of alcohol and drugs and stuff"

"Don't worry Edward everyone knows me and Jake –"

"Love to do it big!" Jake cut me off. I smiled and nodded.

"Yup. Alright Edward you and the guys take the cars back. And pretend like you're coming home after they get here. Cause Rosalie and Alice know that you would never let us drink."

"Alright where was I?"

"Hunting and you're coming home so late because you lose track of time because you were in frenzy."

"Alright."

"Jake if they start asking too many questions do that thing I thought you in grade 6."

"Which thing?"

"Puking on the spot."

"Alright."

"And they'll deffnitly smell the bodies that were here so Jake, Seth. Quill, Paul, Sam, and Embry can you guys please run around."

"Sure thing." Sam answered.

"Thanks."

"What if Alice sees the future?" Eddy asked.

"She can't see the plan right now because pack is here but when your hunting doesn't think about it."

"Alright." He said before leaving with the guys to return the cars.

"Kay Jake help me put the equipment back in my room please. And Emmett get rid of the garbage bags."

"Alright but what if I'm not back in time?"

"Don't worry you probably shouldn't be here anyways, you no so you don't get in trouble with your girl and all."

About 15minutes later I could sense Rosalie and Alice coming back. So me and Jake started saying random things like drunks. And goofing off and stuff.

When Rosalie and Alice walked in I was climbing a wall.

"Whoa you made it to the top bro you're like a miny superman it's so sick."

"Aw thanks."

"No prob hey you think you can do no hands?"

"Oh my god dude that's a great idea!" I let go and fell.

"Weeeeeee!" He started chuckling.

"You fell cause of me I'm pro!" he cracked up between words.

"That fucking hurt. Imma do it again."

"Yay! More funny funny!" When I started to climb again Snoop Dog Hollered.

"No!" We looked at her funny.

"Oh hey bloodsucka! When the fuck did you get here?"

"No more climbing or anything until you two sit down and tell me what hell happened here?" She gave us her scary mommy look. I hate that look it's scary. We jumped on the couch and I hanged off it upside down.

"Please sit up blood's gunna rush to your head." Alice said.

"Oh I bet you'd like that huh sucka! Yeah yeah u would sucka can't enough BLOOD!" Jake screamed. She glared at him.

"Ok so what's going on here?" Rosie asked.

"We was like bored and stuff so Jake said let's get high and drunk and stuff and I said Yeah sure."

"Yup I'm good at peer pressure." We looked at each other and smiled before cracking up again.

"Why did you guys do this?"

"Because we were bored." Jake answered Alice.

"Why the hell is the house trashed and why does it smell like alcohol and why-"Then to cut Rose off Jake puked on her shoes.

"Whoa dude you really can't hold your liquor."

"EW! You're fucking nasty bro! You puked on my feet! EW!"

"HEY! It's not my fault you're wearing open toe heels." Then Alice started laughing.

"Oh boy here it comes again." Jake said before puking on Alice.

"AH! You're such a fag! You puked on me!"

"No I did not I regurgitated there's a difference."

"Um no there isn't!" Alice squealed kinda like a little piggy.

"Well how am I supposed to know I'm 'under the influence'" They rolled their eyes but then Rosalie asked the question that could shut this whole thing down.

**AN: um ok I no it's been a really long time but like I got in trouble cause I keep like being bad and shit in school so yeah and I had 2 like work hard I mean cuz of grades n band n karate n stuff but imma try making the chaps go faster. Sorry 4 making u guys w8 so long but I mean I hope this was worth it so yeah. N I'm working on some other fics a comedy/drama n 1 that's full on drama like twisted drama so if u interested ill b posting those after I'm don't some more chapters so that don get the same thing that happened with this 1 where u guys got to w8 so long but uh when they up ill post it in a AN so yeah.**


End file.
